Life, Love, and Jesus

Hey Guys,
So I totally know that it's been like FOREVER! but things get busy! Life happens, professors swamp you with homework, you find out you have to take a final a week earlier than everyone else due to horrible snow in the winter, go on vacation, come home to work, then you have major surgery, take a couple weeks to recover, and then you make time to blog! :) So that is pretty much the past couple of months in a nutshell. I've been crazy busy; havent really had time to sit down and process things to write here; so I just avoided it! But I am back! (or at least I am going to try to be!)

Anyways.. lets talk about what I'm thinking..

LIFE!:
I have realized over the past month that life is a beautiful thing. Something to be treasured, something to not take for granted, and something to live to the fullest. When I was preparing myself to have surgery is when I really thought about life, all it has to offer, and if I'd given enough.
I started to think if I had made an impact on my world(which means those around me and close to me). Would they remember me if I was gone? Did I love them enough? Did I tell them I loved them and how much they meant to me? Etc. All those questions were running through my head. I also realized that I hadn't done enough with my life. I have been given almost 21 yrs here on this earth.. and have I lived it to the fullest? no. I have shyed away from many conversations that could have become worthwhile and about Jesus all because I was too scared. Have I showed others around me the love of Christ like he loves me? No, becuase I always managed to make too many excuses of how busy I was or how I didn't know how. So I am hoping that this new school year, and this new year of life.. that I can make a stronger impact on people for Jesus. I want them to know why I love Jesus, what he has done for me, and how they need him too!
I have also realized how life is a very complicated thing. Somedays I am afraid to get older and face the world. There are so many unanswered questions I have about finances, living somewhere, etc... that I'm not sure I can handle it when the time comes. Life is more than just another day... its a never ending rollercoaster. So another goal for this coming year.. is that I will ask more questions about things that are important. I will learn new things to help me become more independent.. I will live life to the fullest!
Life also travels too fast! I can't tell you how much I can't believe how certain people are getting so old, or becoming teens instead of kids, or dying.. or just wow. You blink and you've missed like 5 yrs. It's sad.. because htis means if I ever get to have children, that I will want to take in everyday and not let a day go by without writing things down or forgetting to look at my child for a few minutes.. becuase before you know it... they're leaving and going off to college. Time really does fly and I am seeing htis more and more every day!

LOVE!:
Love is a beautiful thing. Love is a very complicated thing. Love takes everything that is inside of you.. and makes you focus it on somebody else. Love is very selfless. Love is what Christ has for me. Loving me without expecting anything in return. WOW!. That is how we are supposed to love. I have realized over the past few months that I am a very selfish person. Not so much in the sense of all I care about is myself.. but in the sense that it is hard for me to love someone and not expect love in return. I have also realized that this needs to be fixed before I can be in a serious relationship, or once I am in a serious relationship this is what I need to focus on. You cannot have a solid relationship without putting the other person before yourself. It's Jesus Others You. JOY. That is the only way to have joy in life. Love is a wonderful thing, I hope one day I can experience it, and I know that there is so much more for me to learn about love. I am excited for the future though and ready for the challenge.

JESUS!:
Jesus is amazing. Seriously. He loves me even when I don't love him. I mean I love Jesus.. but lately I am realizing that I don't love him as much as I should. I am starting to give him the leftovers instead of a freshly cooked meal. I am not taking the time with him in the word and prayer as I should. I am letting other things get in the way. I am upset at myself for this, however I thank him for his mercy and grace everyday! I am hoping that a week away from my computer and such.. will help me focus on him more and get my relationship with him back on track. He has brought me through so much these past few months that I thought weren't possible, or that I didn't think would happen for awhile.. but he is good and gracious.. and I he just leaves me speechless all the time. I want to love like Jesus.. and I want to try and spend more time with him everyday. He deserves it, and how am I supposed to become like him if I don't know who he is?.

So I guess thats all for now. It's late so I'm starting to lose my train of thought.
Leave some comments if you like!!
Thanks for reading my crazy ramblings, CoraBelle.

I am leaving you with a couple lines from a song that has been touching to my heart lately.. so I hope you enjoy.

"..and wonder how he could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean.
How marvelous, How wonderful, and my song shall ever be. How marvelous, How wonderful is my Savior's Love for Me.
He took my sins and my sorrows, He made them his very own. He bore the burden to calvary, and suffered and died alone.
How marvelous, How wonderful and my song shall ever be. How Marvelous, How wonderful is my Savior's love for Me."
- How Marvelous